Songs of Christmas Confusion

          Once again,
We find ourselves back in our accustomed places: me here, sitting behind a computer and laboring to complete my thoughts; you there, enjoying my lack of coherence and cogency. Nevertheless, as we are once again met in council, I suppose that I should speak my mind and let you get back to whatever else it is that you have planned for today. Or tonight, if that is the appropriate ToD. Or whenever in the diurnal cycle you are taking up fourth-dimensional space to get to the bottom of this post. We had our annual Christmas Chapel at school yesterday, and not surprisingly, we sang many Christmas songs. Which got me thinking.
         Which is never a good thing. Which led me to decide on a topic for today's post. Which then compelled me to write about that topic for your enjoyment. Or disgust. Or any emotion you feel appropriately describes the sensations you experience while reading. Where was I? Oh, yeah. Christmas songs. The title of the post today describes an issue that bears discussing, but is one that many people are too ashamed admit to: Christmas song lyric confusion.
         Now, I know that none of you will admit to this, so let me be the first. I have been unaware of many correct song lyrics for many years, and so I have a list of songs that I sing incorrectly, even though I now know the right words. See? That admission wasn't so hard. Now, we can cover some of the oldie-but-goodie lyric mistakes that surround Christmas.
         First, when you sing, "Hark, the Herald Angels", it really is Herald (as in a person who announces visitors to a king), and not Harold, some lonely angel we have never heard of before. As a kid, I always thought that Harold was the right lyric, and even today, I can't help but think about it every time I hear the song.
         Another commonly mis-sung lyric comes to us from "Silent Night". The most common mis-singing in this song is from the line, "Round yon virgin, mother and Child." The most common mistake here is that the word "yon" is sung as "young". Don't get me wrong, Mary was certainly young. However, this lyric actually means to sit near (round) the person over there (yon) who is a virgin. So, try not to mess that one up any more if possible. Kthxbai. Just kidding. We aren't done yet (and please, keep your moaning to yourself, as I can hear you all the way over here).
        If you prefer more modern Christmas lyrics and associate mistakes, please consider the song, "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree." The first line of the song is, "Rockin' around the Christmas tree, at the Christmas party hop." This, of course, is a reference to the sock-hop days of yore. However, in most versions of the songs, the part about the "Christmas party hop" gets so garbled that it usually sounds something like, "Rockin' around the Christmas tree at the Christmas hardy-har." Also from the same song is the charming lyric, "deck the halls with boughs of holly", which comes out sounding like, "deck the halls with balls of holly." Given that holly is a tree, I find it highly unlikely that you can make a ball out of a tree (without extensive carving, which the song DOES NOT imply).
       And finally, at least for today,  I must mention the grandest of all mis-singings of which I am aware. You are most likely familiar with "Santa Claus is Coming to Town", which begins, "You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry..." The mis-singing that I want to mention here stems from a version of the song created by my second cousin Dan T. As a child, he created the following lyric, which I always end up singing, more than a decade after its invention: "You'd better watch out, you'd better say, 'John', cause Johnny won't not coming onnee. Satches won't work, hatches won't work, you never know if matches will work. Santa Claus is coming to the people running through the citeee. You'd better watch out, you'd better say, 'John' cause Johnny won't not comin onnee baw-wao-waom." I have no idea what this rendition of the song means, but boy, was it ever catchy, and just as I am stuck with it, I am fairly certain that at least some of you will also be stuck with it. Well, at least misery loves company. I would love to hear any renditions of any of your favorite mis-sung Christmas songs as well, so let me know. Also, since Heather would like me mention adoption at least once a post, let me do it this way: If you are looking for a way to assuage some holiday-hedonism-guilt, perhaps the best method is to donate to an organization that either helps families adopt a child, or an organization that offers support to mothers who do not want to abort a child, but, for whatever reason, cannot keep it. Given how rampant unexpected (which sounds a lot nicer than unwanted) pregnancy is, even in the US, a few dollars can go a long way toward saving, or at the very least, changing the life of a child. I am not saying this in an effort to raise funds for our adoption (although that would be nice), but rather to make people aware of how much help they can give mothers and children who are in need. Just a little food for thought. The next time you hear from me, I will be a free man: free from school and exams and tests for TWO WHOLE WEEKS!!!!! It goes without saying that my brain will be mush, but at least I will be free, and perhaps will find the time to write a deep, and life-changing post that will bring Christmas (or Hannukah) cheer to all of you faithful readers. In the meantime, I hope that you find the opportunity to show kindness to a stranger or two, which after all, is really much more satisfying than getting a mountain of "stuff" and overeating at the office holiday party. Until then amigos,
Auf wiedersehen!
-J&H-